{tuesday}

It was 5:30 am and Bridget started scratching annoyingly loud at the patch of carpet behind our recliner in the room. My instinct kicked in and I thought she just might poop in our room or something, so I threw off the covers, and to my surprise almost tripped over Ami who was curled up in the doorway and laying on the floor. To add to the chaos, she was naked except for her pull-up which isn't how she went to bed last night...

I told her I'd be right back and that she could crawl in bed with daddy while I took Bridge out to go potty. We snuggled until about 30 minutes later when Ami said the scariest words any parent could hear, especially while laying in our sanctuary of sheets and a quilt. "Mom, I need to throw up." Quickly, I picked her up, rushed to the bathroom, tripped over Bridget (darn dog), and set her up by the potty only to notice she had already thrown up all down my shirt and on my pants. Sigh.

That's how the day began.

Poor kiddo.

There's really nothing more difficult as a parent than seeing your kid suffer or feel ill and not being able to do anything about it. It's heartbreaking. In moments like this - I was looking for room to see beyond the difficulty -- to see how this doesn't have to throw the day off but how I can be a more compassionate momma. Trust me, sometimes this isn't my first instinct, but I'm really working on it. Amity and Ever are worth it. In these moments, the kind of love you have for your child that you never knew existed until they came into being is really brought back into view.

She seems to be doing better but I'm convinced that this rainy weather and gloomy skies were planned so we could watch movies and snuggle today -- taking it easy and helping everyone to be on the mend for the rest of the week.

Today I carried her. I carried her all the way up the stairs like a baby and she hugged me tightly, fingers in her mouth, snuggling like she used to when she was oh-so-tiny. She has been napping in our bed (it's a special thing ya know) so that Ever can consistently nap in his crib. This is also going really well.

But when she came downstairs just a bit ago after napping, she told me that her pants got a little wet from her water. It wasn't her water... and we have entered into this new phase of kidhood/parenting known as lying. I asked her multiple times if it was water or pee and reminded her that I wouldn't be upset if it was pee but that it would not be good to tell a lie and that would make me upset.

She stuck to her story. From the moment we entered the bedroom I knew it wasn't water.

Kids pee in beds. In fact, it's really no big deal and she naps in undies all the time now and this very rarely happens anymore. But it is a big deal to lie about it. So we are starting that discussion and it's not an easy one.

I hugged her and told her that I loved her. I told her that lying is something that is very hurtful and that it would always be better to tell the truth, even if you're afraid of getting in trouble. We hugged again. She squeezed me really tight and said she was very sorry. And I know she was.

Today isn't the kind of day to drive that point home any further. She started off not feeling well and we'll try again tomorrow and see if lying needs to be addressed again.

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Sometimes, especially on days like today, I've often lived life like it's an emergency. These words were in my book today and I am thankful they came into play on such a day as this, to be a reminder for me.

"The skin's tugged hard by the rush of time and I say it aloud in current pounding past, words I need like water: Calm. Haste makes waste. Life is not an emergency. Life is brief an it is fleeting but it is not an emergency" (pg. 73).

As I grabbed hold of my bedding, found some clean undies and pants for my girl, I took my time tidying up the room a bit, reminding her of how much I love her and slowly walking down the stairs together.

I am thankful for her heart. I am thankful for her love. I am thankful for soon-to-be freshly, cleaned sheets for tonight!

Today's post feels pretty scattered, but I think I'll come back to it and remind myself of the importance to live life like it's not an emergency because kids will get sick, babies won't nap well (poor bub has had a pretty tough napping day), but it's alright. It's totally alright.